It's been awhile, almost forgot I had this honestly. Life Is a complete mess right now. I'm crying as I write this. What can I say shit happens you know? I'm looking around and everyone Is getting their happiness. My bro is having a child with his wife. My sis just had her first child with her husband. My ex who carried my child at one time had a baby. Someone who I wanted so bad just got married. My homie Rozay Is getting married. My bro moved back to Maryland. The only person I want I can't have. I've lost most of the friendships that meant something. I don't talk to my bestfriend Angelica at all. Music is the one thing that kept me going and I lost the passion for that. For the first time In a long time I'm battling depression. I'm actually happy for everyone's else happiness. It's just like when will I get my turn? I've always been there for everyone and always been a good person. I guess age is starting to creep in. I'll be 25 in less than a year. I'm not where I want to be, not even close. I believed it would always be easy. I'm finding out that It's nowhere near easy. I'm trapped In a losing situation and some days I want to tap out. How many blows can you take before you just stay down? It gets harder and harder to get up off the mat. On a more positive note I have a great job doing what I love. Working with mentally challenged and disabled people. On my worst days they make me smile and feel grateful. I have a wonderful niece, nephews, baby bros and sis who do the same. They few people I do have left are great people. I can't get my mom to a better place and it breaks my heart. Man she deserves the world and I can't give it to her. She sacrificed so much for me, raised me the right way, taught me to be a man. Sometimes she'd work 3 jobs to make sure I had what I needed. I hate not being able to help the people I love. This can't be life, I have to have a greater purpose. I'll find It and change everything around. I hide it all with smiles and laughter but I'm dying on the inside. They say It's darkest before the dawn. I'm waiting for that dawn to come. BPL started today and my team Manchester United won 1-0. Football(preseason) starts tomorrow
(well today). In closing, that's what made me write his blog tonight. All of the HOF Inductees mentioned family, wives, and legacy. At some point the money stops being enough and you need more. It means nothing to have the world if you can't share it with someone. With that someone you have kids and they become your legacy. I have to take life more seriously man. I've been here for almost 25 years and have nothing to show for It. Thanks for always giving me an outlet to release my thoughts.
Song of The Day: Human Nature - Michael Jackson
Quote of The Day: "When you put a ceiling on what I can be or say I can't do something
that's where you fucked up. I'll prove your ass wrong every single time.
I ain't afraid of hard work. I'll out work every motherfucker there is
to get where I want to go" -Stone Cold Steve Austin
