Hello world(although many people won't read this) I guess I just want to get things off of my mind/chest. So here we go I guess. I'm mentally In a place I don't want to be. There's very little light and a lot of darkness. Darkness is believed to be the heart's true essence. I've been there and I don't want to return. Everyday is a struggle to remain positive in a chaotic world. There's one person I can always count on, she's so great. She's beautiful, funny, dorky, cool, and so intelligent. On my darkest days she's the little rays of sunshine I see. We don't date or nothing like that but if we did I know things would be better. She gets me unlike anybody else does. She has a son that I love too, he's great. Outside of here I had two people I could always go to, my bestfriends. They're not around anymore, we've grown apart. It hurts when you care for someone so much and then they just leave. I've only had 4 bestfriends lifetime(3 of them were females that all left). The first left when I was 10, she was the definition of a bestfriend. I missed her dearly everyday until I was 13. Then there's my dad, If you can call him that. My mom wouldn't let him see me when I was young because he wasn't there. She said when I got old enough I could make that decision on my own. I didn't want to see him at first but every son wants their dad to be there. So i reached out to him and we talked for a while but that's it. One day I asked him for some money, told him anything would do. He never replied, i didn't need the money I just wanted to see would he be there. I haven't contacted him since, I've accepted the fact he chose not to be in my life. It's funny, the reason I'm writing this blog is because of One Tree Hill. I started watching it last week and realized It was high school/my life all over again. I can relate to every character especially Lucas. The time I'm truly at peace is when I write. It used to be music but now this will be my platform to clear my mind. I do plan on writing music again real soon. People question opening up to the internet sometimes. To be honest, I've never been private so It's ok with me, Work was slow today and I really only work to pay bills but that's ok with me. I'm just grateful to have a job. Everyday I'll pick a song and quote of the day. If you read this thanks for caring enough to enter the crazy realms of my mind.
Song of the day: I Don't Wanna Be - Gavin DeGraw
Quote of the day: "A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing." -George Bernard Shaw
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